Computer jokes

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A computer is a HARDware device. How come someone still feels it is MicroSOFT

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One apple a day keeps the doctor away, not logging onto servers using management or service accounts keeps SecOps people away.

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A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, “Where’d you get that?”

The student on the bike replies, “While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, “You can have anything you want.””

The first student responds, “Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you.”

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Why can’t Orphans have a computer?

They don’t have a home page.

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Some people are like a software update. When I see them I think, “Not now.”

What happens when a computer thinks it knows better than a human? Ask Boeing.

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Q. What is the biggest lie in the entire universe?

A. “I have read and agree to the Terms & Conditions.”

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Q: How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?

A: He gave her a ring.

Q: What’s the most popular video game at the bread bakery?

A: Knead for Speed.

Q: Why is Santa good at karate?

A: He has a black belt.

Q: Where do werewolves buy Christmas gifts?

A: Beast Buy.

Q: What did the snowflake say to the road?

A: Let’s

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Window Problems A blonde texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won’t open." Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer. " Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now.”

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