Family jokes

Why did the brother cross the road? Because The Sister Farted.

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So I was f@cking my daughter the other day and my wife walked in… I don’t know what was funnier the look on her face or that the abortion clinic let me keep her

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The Coach of the Detroit Lions had put together the perfect football team. But then his quarterback got blindsided and was out for the season with a knee injury.

Then his backup went down with a concussion. He tried the trading route, free agents, but nobody any good was available.

One evening while watching the news from Iraq, he saw a young Iraqi

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Yo sis come here sis: what. Me: oh sorry you doing school sis: yup me can i go sis:no way you’re going to hug me me: i love you

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5 4 3 2 1. A castle ways a ton. 5 4 3 2 1. The Queen of England’s won. I never thought she’d get it done, but her sister is a nun.

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Best friend: dude your sister is hot i’d Hit that

Me: already did SWEEETT HOMMEE ALABAMA

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You wanna know what i want for Christmas? My dad to come back with the milk he said he was gonna get.

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How do you know your sister is on her period? Your dad’s c–k tastes like s–t!

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My sister and I were both adopted from the same country, and my parents say they got us on a “two for one special.”

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Mr smith had four daughters. Each of his daughters had a brother. How many children does Mr smith have

Tell me answers in comment box

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Orphan boy:Your dad is probably dissapointed of you i mean look at you Me: well at least my parents kept me wheres yours

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Y do orphans eat cereal with water

There dad did not come back with the milk

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Screw sister from a mister or brother from another mother. We besties from another testie.

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Three nuns are on their way up to heaven after having been involved in a terrible minibus crash on the Italian Alps that killed them and the driver (he went the other direction!) As they’re approaching the Pearly Gates to be interview by St. Peter, they are requested by an attendant to form a single line and wait. Sister Agnes is first, Sister Bernadette behind her and Sister Carmel on the end. Finally, St. Peter approaches the nuns to determine their worthiness for entry to Heaven. He says to the first nun: “Sister Agnes, have you ever seen the penis of a man”? Sister Agnes bursts into tears and says: Yes, St. Peter, I have, but please don’t let this prevent me from entering the Kingdom of Heaven". St. Peter says: “Never fear, my child. Say a thousand Hail Marys and then go over to that font of Holy Water and wash your eyes out, then you shall enter the Kingdom of Heaven”. Sister Carmel sees what’s going on and taps Sister Bernadette on the shoulder, somewhat urgently. “Pssst — hey Bernie”! , she says. Sister Bernadette asks: “What is it?” A little annoyed. Sister Carmel says: “Do you mind if we swap places”? Sister Bernadette replies: “What for”? Sister Carmel says: “Well, I wouldn’t mind gargling before you stick your ass in there”!

What’s better then sex with your 12 year old sister?

Rolling her over and pretending it’s your 10 year old brother

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