Q. Two gay guys are having sex, when suddenly the house catches fire. Who gets out of the house first, the guy on top or bottom? A. They guy on the bottom because he already has his shit packed.
Q: Why did the chef get fired? A: He took cooking advice from Hitler!
Why did the man put himself on fire? To BURN Calories.
You’re the type of person to play girl on fire during a funeral
Roses are red, Violets are red, Sunflowers are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN’S ON FIRE
I got a job at a library once, i got fired like an hour in because the library manager said that the cookbooks didn’t go into the women’s sports section.
What’s Black and sits at the top of the stairs? Stephen Hawkins in a house fire.
wood fired pizza how would pizza get a job now
School was fun but it was hard almost like riding a bike that’s on fire and the grounds on fire and everything’s on fire because it’s hell.
whats stephan hawkings called on fire hotwheels:)
I got suspended at school today, I lit a kids wheelchair on fire and called him hot wheels
Little Natalie was playing with matches. Her mother caught her, took them, whupped her and told her never to play with matches again. A few minutes later, Little Natalie was playing with matches again. The curtains caught fire and the house burned down. Another few minutes later, when she and her mother were sitting at their neighbors, her mother told her: If you think I gave you a whupping, wait till your father gets home! Little Natalie just cackled with delight, because she knew her father had gotten home earlier and gone upstairs to take a nap.
When the school shooter pulls the fire alarm and the autistic kid thinks it’s a rave party.
What’s the difference between a skeleton and a baby? I don’t set the skeleton on fire.
What does a cigarette and a hamster have in common? Both are completely harmless untill you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
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