Fire jokes

Whats the difference between a bear with a gun and an American Man with a gun?

The bear has common sense not to fire it

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You’re the type of person to play girl on fire during a funeral

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What’s the difference between a Cop and a bullet? When a bullet kills someone it gets fired.

I usually dont make 9/11 jokes. But they just are fire.

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I was told to burn calories so I threw your mom in the fire.

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A man got fired from the first coin factory. he exclaimed “no! this is the only thing thats ever made cents!!”

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A is for Amy who fell down the stairs. B is for Basil assaulted by bears. C is for Clara who wasted away. D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh. E is for Ernest who choked on a peach. F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech. G is for George smothered under a rug. H is for Hector done in by a thug. I is for Ida who drowned in a lake. J is for James who took lye by mistake. K is for Kate who was struck with an axe. L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks. M is for Maud who was swept out to sea. N is for Neville who died of ennui. O is for Olive run through with an awl. P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl. Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire. R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire. S is for Susan who perished of fits. T is for Titus who flew into bits. U is for Una who slipped down a drain. V is for Victor squashed under a train. W is for Winnie embedded in ice. X is for Xerxes devoured by mice. Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in. Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin

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I was about to change my password to fire-fist ace… but apparently it was too weak.

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I bought a gun from Walmart today. I guess they knew what I was going to do with it, because when I pulled the gun on the cashier, I realized the firing mechanism was in reverse.

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Wood fired pizza?

Hows pizza gonna pay child support now?!:O

Please drop a like

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My friend was in a wheel chair so i rolled him in fire now i call him hot wheels

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I love fire. My friends love it too. When i set them on fire, they run around and scream. They sometimes get so tired they immediately fall asleep forever. Also, they need a shower.

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(I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes)

What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick

I was going to tell a dead baby joke. But I decided to abort.

Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead.

4.Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They’re painful to look at.

Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.

Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.

My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

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What is black and sits at the top of the stairs? – Steven Hawking after a house fire.

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What do you call Stephen HAawking on fire

Hot wheels

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Wood fired pizza how would pizza get a job now

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