Smoking jokes

I saw a sign the other day that said "Maximum penalty for smoking is?1,000" But that’s not right. Surely the maximum penalty for smoking is Death.

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What do you call someone with Down Syndrome who smokes weed?

A baked potato.

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A couple of cows were smoking a joint and playing cards… The steaks were pretty high

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A little chimney said: “Ooooh, I think my house owner is making a fire in me! I’m about to smoke!!”

The big chimney said next to him: “Well, your to young to smoke…”

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What cigarettes Churchill’s wife likes to smoke?

A blue Winston

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Why cant orphans smoke

They dont have parents._.

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Why did the guy get the hose

Because the girl was smoking hot

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What is the difference between cremation and smoking? while you are smoking you don’t go up in smoke

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Ya know I’m not to I to black girls, but Kobe’s daughter was smoking!!!

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I asked my girlfriend if she was a smoke alarm she said “ is it because I warned him when hottness came” I said “ no, you don’t shut up

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What Did The Dirt Say To The Embers? You Look Smoking Hot.

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Please Fokes you can hit the thumbs up button on the ones you like. There is no need to repost…

Anyways

Knock knock Who’s there? Can I come in? Can I come in who? Can I Come In You!?

More often than not, I will cry when I masturbate… Some nights I’m a real tear jerker! But on the nights and I smoke a lil pot and then masturbate, my dad ends up bugging me because I am a weed wacker.

How do you keep a dog from humping your leg? Pick him up and suck his dick.

How does Popeye keep his manly part from rusting? He sticks it in Olive Oil.

Snow White and the seven dwarfs are in the the tub feeling “HAPPY”. Happy got out now they are f@cking “GRUMPY”

What’s worse than waking up and finding a “Penis” drawn on your forehead? Finding out it was “Traced”

If I had a rooster and you had a donkey and your donkey ate my rooster what would you have? 3 feet of my cock up your ass

Did you know Batman was actually Black? Yeah he couldn’t go a night with out Robyn!

Did you hear Gods Word Of The Day? Its Legs! Now lets go out and spread them.

What do you call a Mexican woman with no legs? Cunt-sway-low

Whats worse than sucking 25 oysters out of your Grandmas Pussy? Realizing you only put in 15

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some Marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed Jill’s thigh and said “You know you wanna.” Jill said yes and pulled up her dress and then they had some fun, but silly jIll forgot her pill and now they have a son.

Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and said, “Jill do you wanna?” Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill so now they have a son

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Cremation: My last hope for a smoking hot body.

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What Did Rapper Pop Smoke get high off of? Cigarettes with Pop & Smoke.

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