An Englishman, a Frenchman, a ravishing blonde and an old lady are sharing a compartment on a train as it winds its way through the Alps. Every now and then the train passes through a tunnel, during which time the compartment is plunged into complete darkness. On one such occasion, a ringing slap is heard and as the train passes back into daylight, the Frenchman is rubbing his sore, red cheek.
The old lady thinks, “I bet that dirty Frenchman fondled the blonde and she struck the pervert.”
The blonde thinks, “I bet that filthy Frenchman was looking to grope me in the dark, mistook the old lady for me and she slapped him.”
The Frenchman thinks, “I bet that perfidious Englishman touched up the blonde in the dark and she slapped me by mistake.”
The Englishman thinks, “I can’t wait for another tunnel so I can slap that French twat again.”
What do you call a train that likes toffee?
A chew-chew train
Why did little Timmy drop his ice cream cone?
He got hit by a bus.
What’s the difference between a teacher and a train?
The teacher says, “Spit out your gum,” but a train says, “Chew chew!”
Why did the little boy drop his ice cream?
Because he was hit by a bus.
Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exersice. They got up into the air and Jim said, “okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want.” Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, “I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire.” Allyn said “what?” As he looked over at Jim.
Today; Worst day ever
My annoying sibling got hit by a train and I lost my job as a conductor.
One time their was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track a girl said excuse me can you move please I’m trying than the man stopped her sentence htm title=' than she said back easy hung it up'>and said how is your t shirt so clean than she said back easy hung it up
What’s white, yellow and goes 40 mph?
A train driver’s egg sandwich
The other day a squirrel asked me for a job, I asked him what jobs did you have previously. Calmly he answered," I am a pilot, I can pick it up from here and pile it over there, I also can fly a sign!!!" " To bad, this is a nut cannery, and we’re 100% automated, we don’t need anyone at this time, sorry." " No worries, I’m totally nuts anyway, guess I’ll fly a sign across town, don’t have bus fare!!!"
I had an uncle who was a conductor. He wasn’t a symphony conductor, nor was he a street car conductor, nor was he a train conductor. He was struck by lightning.
Why was I stress eating on the train track?
To wait to get hit.
My ex girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus drivers licence.
Q: why did Sally drop her ice cream? A: she go hit by a bus.
1.) What’s Yellow And Can’t Swim?
A Bus Full Of Children 2.) Did you hear bout the pilsbury dough boy?
He died of a yeast infection 3.) I will never forget my grandads last words…
“you’re still holding the ladder right?” 4.) I have a fish that can breakdance…
Only for 20 seconds though, and only once 5.) give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours… Lite a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
Lite a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
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