What do u call a woman who says she can do anything a man can do?
Wrong
Woman jokes

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Woman: Doctor, where are we going? Doctor: To the morgue. Woman: I’m not dead yet, doctor. Doctor: We’re not at morgue yet, either

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There was a man named, Matt, that went to the church to confess one of his most recent sins. He told the priest, I am here to tell you my sins. He was all for it and said go ahead.

Matt, “Father, Last night I almost cheated on my wife”

Priest, “how so?”

Matt, “We were together naked, but we didn’t do anything just rubbed each other, that’s all”

Priest, " RUBBING TOGETHER IS THE SAME THING AS PUTTING IT IN! for your sins you must never see that woman again and put $50 in the donation box"

Matt, “okay i promise not to see her again”

Then Matt walks out the door

Priest, “Hey I saw you! you didn’t put any money in the donation box!!”

Matt, “Yes I did, I took the money and rubbed it against the box because you said rubbing it is the same thing as putting it in”

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Why do women rub their eyes in the morning?

Because they don’t have balls.

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My kids are so ungrateful. I got them a new dishwasher and they just won’t stop complaining about their mom

Whats the difference between a lightbulb and a preganant woman you can unscrew the lightbulb

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