Best Jokes
| Family jokes |
What’s green and orange and sits at the bottom of the swimming pool?
A baby with burst armbands
| Green jokes |
I was given my Electronics test today. Turns out it was given to me cauz I have the same name as someone who got 54/59. I actually got my hopes up too.
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What’s the difference between an emo and my clothes? my clothes don’t hang themselves.
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Your legs are just like oreos! I wanna split the ends and eat whats in between.
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Q: What did one emo kid say to the other emo kid?
A: Wanna hang out?
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What’s the difference between flat earthers and my grandfather? flat earthers are more disconnected from reality than my grandfather is disconnected from his life support.
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What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.
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What’s worse than depression & suicide? Easy: LIVING Everyday you wish you were dead but than reality hits u in the face that your still alive and has to suffer living Pretend or not pretend we have to decide everyday even if we don’t pretend no onw will notice:) no one ever does:) Living is the problem to everything we get depression cuz of it and so much why can’t we just die:)?
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One time their was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track a girl said excuse me can you move please I’m trying than the man stopped her sentence htm title=' than she said back easy hung it up'>and said how is your t shirt so clean than she said back easy hung it up
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What’s black and yellow and cant swim?
A School Bus Full Of Orphans
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An ugly man with a gun walks into a bar. He sees a woman, and falls in love with her. Man: Hey, cute lady! Woman: Leave me alone, you ugly two faced man! I already have a boyfriend. Man: Not for long! And then the man shoots the woman’s boyfriend. Woman: How dare you murder such a beautiful man! Man: Now you shall be my girlfriend. Woman: Never. And then the man takes the seat that the woman’s boyfriend was sitting in before. Man: You look like a dream. Woman: Then open up your ugly eyes and stop sleeping, murder. Man: What’s it like being the most beautiful girl in the world, compared to all those ugly woman? Bleuch! Woman: What’s it like being the ugliest mother f***ing murder in the world, compared to all those beautiful men? And then the man orders flowers and candy. Bartender: We don’t serve flowers, or candy. And the man shoots the bartender. Another man can’t believe what he just saw, so he strangles the first man, and throws him out.
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A professor was talking about the american dream. then, he asked the german exchange student if there was a german dream, to which the student replies “we did, but no one liked it.”
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Yesterday in my dream I ate a ten pound marshmallow, when I woke up my pillow was gone
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So what if I can’t spell Armageddon? It’s not the end of the world
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Have you ever tried eating a clock? It’s really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.
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Guy: Fight me on Xbox. Guy: oh right you don’t have one laughs Me: Fight me in real life. Me: Oh right you don’t have a real life. INSERTS APPLE BOTTOM JEANS 2021-2022
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