Today was a bad day. First My ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver
So 3 guys are walking down the street together and decide to go rob a bank. The first one goes for the richest man in the city’s vault but can’t open it easily, and is caught and sent to death in jail for robbing the richest man. The second one goes for his uncles vault because screw that son of a bh he’s rich why does he need all the money. But his uncle was unfortunately at the vault that day and snapped his nephews neck. The third one went for his ex’s vault and thought “well that bh can suck my dk she’s so poor anyway who would care if I take all her money so she dies of hunger and dehydration and homelessness” so he managed to get into her vault easily because it wasn’t heavily locked and took all her money. The next day the third guys ex showed up to his house and said “imma fg murder you” so she shot him dead and got her money from his house. In hell the three guys see each other and explain what happened. The third guy did and then asked “you know I don’t get it. If the richest guys are heavily guarded but already have so much money in their house why does it need to be heavily guarded? I don’t understand why the poorer aren’t heavily guarded when they are so poor they need the money.” And the first guy said “bh I don’t know maybe the bank tellers think poor people should suck it and just die already”
I was hunting at night for deer and then I found one and shot it, I realized the deer I shot was actually my ex…
Ex: baby i miss u me: sorry i cant talk im at a funeral Ex: who died?! me: my feelings 4 u bitch
My ex misses me, good thing she’ll never hit me.
My ex died in an anchorage accident. She always was a sleeping hooker.
So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend. Her boyfriend said “hi.” I said, " knife to meet you."
What do you call someone who used to kill people? An ex-ecutioner.
What’s the difference between depression and your ex? Depression f@cks you harder
The last thing i told my ex after we broke up was “at least we’re still cousins”??
Peanuts are hard to crack just like my ex wifes heart
What do call an ex lesbian??? A Clitter Quitter
My ex died today. I also lost my job as a butcher
“Hey today was great” “What happened” “I ran into my ex today” “What’s so great about that?” “I was in my car”
I took my son to a drivers school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive htm title=' (I gotta go pay him out of jail)'>a car because he ran over my ex on “accident” (I gotta go pay him out of jail)
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