Why did the girl quit her job at the donut factory? – She was fed up with the hole business.
I hate these double standards.
If you burn a body at a crematorium you’re "doing a good job" if you do it at home you’re “destroying evidence”
Business Interview With Depression Inside my brain…
Me: So… You’re new?
Depression: (I don’t know who he is yet) mHMMMmmm!
Me: Well what are your skills?
Depression: Oh, taking control and leading… You know…
Me: What are you trying out for?
Depression: Oh, Vice Leader of Negative Thoughts.
Me: Well we do need someone over there- for somewhat reason nobody wanted that job…
Me: How did you know about us?
Depression: Oh- I knew because of Anxiety, you know, we’re friends!
Me: Interesting… (Still has no idea about Anxiety and it’s problemos)
Me: Well I think you’re signed up! I’ll give you the job! Depression: tHaNKS:) AND THATS HOW MY LIFE GOT DESTROYED:]
Depression: tHaNKS:)
AND THATS HOW MY LIFE GOT DESTROYED:]
Why can’t orphans get a job? Because they don’t have a home.
My mom told me that she got a new job & I don’t have to leave the house. Then my mom told all my customers are the men that live in our neighborhood Then I ask what is your job call. My mom said job hand, then I said job and or is hand job. My mom said yeah that it. My mom said I; m good at my job that why all the males are always knocking at the door.
A girl walked into a job interview. The interviewer said “you are what we are looking for, but i need to test your skills. ” he hands her a pen He said “sell me this pen” She puts in between her boobs.
A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato-clock. The shop keeper said, "I dont know what a potato clock is’ The man said, "me neither but im starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9 so id have to get a potato clock
I GOT a job as a pencil sharpener I would tell you about it but you wouldn’t get the point.
The Wine Taster At An Old Vineyard Died. A Homeless Guy, Looking Ragged And Dirty, Came To Apply. He Persuaded The Manager To Give Him A Try. The guy was given a glass of wine. He swirled, smelled, sipped and spit. “It’s a red wine, Merlot, three years old, grown on the South Slope and matured in oak barrels." He said. “Impressive,” said the manager.
The man is given another. "Still a red wine, Cabernet, eight years old, from the Northeast slope, stored in a steel vats.”
The manager was amazed. He winked at his secretary. The secretary understood and brought out a glass of urine. The drunkard tasted it and said. “It’s a blond, 27 years old, three months pregnant, and if I don’t get this job, I’ll tell who the father is!”
How did the security guard at the orchid get better at his job? He got an Apple Watch.
I lost my job by giving up my seat to someone I didn’t know you’re not supposed to do that if you’re a bus driver!
You dream with 4k
As a son I was starting to do pranks. I told my mom’s boyfriend that she cheated on him, and she don’t want to be with him no more, and I told him that my mom said that he had a small penis. He left my mom, and she was mad at me. I thought it was funny. Then I told my friend girlfriend that he cheated on her with another girl, and the girl told me that my friend had a small penis. He found out, and wanted to co front me in my house. I wasn’t home. My friend told my mom what happen then my mom said the same thing happen to me. I came home one day I saw my mom giving my friend a blow job I ask what’s going on. My friend told your mom is my new girlfriend & my mom said this is the penis of my dreams.
What do you not want to do when it comes to giving an emo a job?
Showing them the ropes.
My ex boyfriend’s dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob I had to give him a thumb and forefinger job.
My girlfriend got ran over by a bus I lost my job as a bus driver.
The teacher asked the class what sound does a cow make mooo said sally good job said the teacher what sound does a sheep make baa said jack good now what sound does a pig make little johnny raised his hand really high in the sky the teacher called him he said htm title=' ur hands on ur head u black moterf@cker'>the pig says get on the ground and put ur hands on ur head u black moterf@cker
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