Green jokes

What’s big, green, has four legs and if it falls out of a tree it can kill you?

A pool table.

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If trump colored his hair green and weared a orange shirt and pants i will call him a carrot

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Yo mama so ugly when her parents had a gender reveal part the balloon came out green.

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What’s green, red and spins at 4000rpm?

A frog in a blender

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What’s green and smells of bacon???

KERMITS FINGERS??

Why is a cabage green? Because its in Greenland

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Hey amazing people! The Prankster is back! This prank was on my sister and her friends. (tbh I did not think she had friends.)

I set out some snacks for them! Btw (I can’t be trusted).

I gatherd some slapies.

The things I gatherd where Tomatos, onions, milk, carrots, ice cream, and some dried out green beans! all that stuff! To the 4.

I need the tomatos to make a sauce because I am going to put that with the ice cream, mix that up with the milk, yea yea it might look like a gross and nasty dish…WRONG!!! I am going to make it into a little snack…anyway we make that into a snack for her and her friends. The onions are used to make their eye’s cry and burn but I will give them a towl after that. The dried out green beens are just to make them go over the top and overreact because I did not cook them. After that we make it like its not so iky!

I feed it to them! They overreacted! Please leave a comment. Byee!

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Why do midgets have to wear a green bright jacket when crossing the road?

Because they will get turned into a pancake even more

Its not funny i know

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There was a fancy dress party the theme was emotions. one guy came dressed in green and he was envy, another person came dressed in red and she was anger another guy came dressed in blue and he was sadness. Two indians came, one came with a hole in a pear and his d*** was in the pear said he was deep in dispear, the other indian came with his d*** in custard and he said he was f***ing dicustard

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What fruit is square and green? a lemon in disguise

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A father of five puts on gas mask and a hazard suit, and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked “Dad, what are you wearing?”. The father would answer with “A costume for Halloween.”. the child asked “can i join?”. He said no, for he said it’s their last Halloween. *after that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.

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Stephen Hawking is intelligent. He is not as green as he is cabbage.

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What turns green to red in a flick of a switch?A frog in a blender.

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Hoow on god’s green earth does my boyfriend have a phone? JK WE NEED TO TALK ILL TYPE THE SECRET CODE (YOU’LL KNOW WHAT IT MEANS.) GREEN PUSSY CAT LIKES BANNANS.

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I found alien in my backyard I put him to work. He went to farm never seen him again moments later he is on daily planet acting as reporter a green rock smashed my house. I called him back he passed out.

I remarked you lazy

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