Fire jokes

Whats black and sits at the top of the stairs? stephen hawkings during a house fire.

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Michael Jackson was once a guitar teacher, but he got fired because he fingered a minor

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Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be Wanted.

Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.

I saw a child crying yesterday so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.

What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.

Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.

What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We are Family.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite tv show? Family Guy.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.

Next: Inappropriate Jokes

What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.

What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.

What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.

Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms

What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.

Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.

What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin

Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.

Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.

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Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an “L” on her forehead

Well, the years start coming and they don’t stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn’t make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Sunflowers are red,

HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN’S ON FIRE

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What’s the difference between a skeleton and a baby? I don’t set the skeleton on fire.

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I got suspended at school today, I lit a kids wheelchair on fire and called him hot wheels

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Q: How do you make a 9/11 cocktail?

A: Light two Manhattans on fire and then knock them over.

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I refuse to believe my dad got fired as a road worker for theft. But when I came home there were signs everywhere

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