If a man drove over a woman, whose fault was it?
The man, because he shouldn’t be driving in the kitchen.
Woman jokes

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My kids are so ungrateful. I got them a new dishwasher and they just won’t stop complaining about their mom

Whats the difference between a lightbulb and a preganant woman you can unscrew the lightbulb

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An old woman goes to the doctor complaining of extremely smelly gas. “I don’t understand it, Doc”, she said, “I have this terrible, terrible gas”. “Thankfully”, she added, “they are at least silent when I fart”. Doctor hands her a bottle of pills, tells her take them all and then come back to see him. The old woman returned a short time later extremely mad. “I took those pills like you said and not only is my gas smelly, but now when I fart they are obnoxiously loud!”, she yelled. The doctor said, “well, now that we’ve solved your hearing problem, let’s see what we can do about that gas”.

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