Dark Humor

“Boom, quick; you have five seconds to give me three reasons to live.” “1…2…3 ……4…5…” Did you noticed you said nothing at all?

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Q: What did one emo kid say to the other emo kid? A: Wanna hang out?

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What has two legs but can’t walk? Pants ??

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What’s under the bottom? Your legs.

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Why dose a milking stool have 3 legs? Because, the cow has the utter one.

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What do you call a man off the ground? Hanged.

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What do you call a smurf with no arms or legs? A paintball

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I was crying when Sasha died in AOT, i also got jealous.

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I fear my last words will be ‘‘hold my beer and watch this.’’

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Are you depression "cause you’re always on my mind~ 1273 depression got the best of me, i’m gonna cry in my room now

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I will never forget my Grandpa’s last words, “What are you doing with that rope and saw”

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i have no friends but then i realize my true friends are anxiety and depression

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my sons so ungrateful. i bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.

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I’ll never forget my aunt’s last words before she died “can you stop shaking the latter please”

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I went to visit my friends sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him he kept repeating “Ni caizhe wo de yangqi guan” Suddenly right in front of me, he passed. Later that night I translated his last words, and they were “You’re standing on my oxygen tube”

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