Dream jokes

You don’t have a forehead you have a five head.

You don’t have dreams you have movies.

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I had a dream I was a muffler last night… I woke up EXHAUSTED???

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Last night, I dreamed I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. But it was just a Fanta sea. (Fantasy)

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I had a dream about a car, and I woke up exhausted

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Yesterday in my dream I ate a ten pound marshmallow, when I woke up my pillow was gone

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The pope drives around in a glass box or as I like to call him a snipers dream

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Last night I had a dream of led but your mom won’t led me tell you.

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People having seizures are just people dreaming about rollercoasters.

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When Caesar’s wife told him she dreamed he should beware the Ides of March, he scoffed and said, “What? It’s not like I’m gonna be stabbed 23 times by my best buddies!”

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What kind of dreams do hotels have?

Suite dreams

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Man: I know how to please a woman. Woman: Then please leave me alone, you ugly two-faced hypocrite.

Man: I want to give myself to you. Woman: Sorry, I don’t like ugly peasants.

Man: Your hair colour is fabulous. Woman: I hate your hair colour, though.

Man: You look like a dream. Woman: Then open your ugly eyes and stop sleeping, hypocrite!

Man: I can tell that you want me. Woman: Yes, I want you dead.

R.I.P

Man: Hey, baby, what’s your sign? Woman: F*** you, pedophile!

Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services for pedophiles.

Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down, you little peasant.

Man: What’s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? Every other woman I see looks ugly. Bleuch! Woman: How dare you!

Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore. I saw you playing with boxes in the store room and saying “I AM KING OF THE WORLD!”

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So i was sitting with my little brother and talk about our dreams. “What do you wanna be when you grow up?” I asked him. He answered “A doctor!”. I wanted to tease him so i said “I wouldn’t be treated by a doctor like you”. I was hoping he would get mad or something but instead, he calmly replied “Brother, i said doctor. Not a vet”

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Why do a orphan starts with an “O” because they Only see there parents in their dream.

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Have you ever heard of a dream that that that that the universe was a fake machine?

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My hopes and dreams

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