Family jokes

What is a lion call as a baby cocota

-2

-1

* * *

Little Johhny is walking around and peaks in his parents room, catching them having sex so he asks, “What are you guys doing?” and they reply “Nothing, nothing! we’re just uh, making cake” and they send him away. So he continues walking around and he hears some strange noises coming from his brothers room so he walks in and catches his brother and his brothers girlfriend having sex and then asks him “What are you guys doing?” and his brother yells “Get out! were making cake!” So Johnny leaves and goes to his room. The next day the whole family is at the dinner table and Little Johnny turns to his sister and says “So, you and your boyfriend were making cake last night huh!” and she replies “OMG! Howd you know! ?!?” and Johnny replies “Because, I licked the icing off the couch” ayyyyyy.

-2

-1

Jack and jill went up the hill to do it in the water. jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter

-2

-1

* * *

My daughter said i could never make a car out of spaghetti, you should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!!!

-2

-1

* * *

Me and my friend went to the park, after a while we grabbed our little princess and said “it’s time to go sweetie” but before we could go someone said “stop them they have my daughter!”

-2

-1

* * *

I woke up to my daughter riding me in bed. I asked “What are you doing?” She replied, “Making a Creampie.”

-2

-1

* * *

Daughter: I know this is weird but I feel like that someone is watching me when I am sleeping.

Father: Sorry

-2

-1

* * *

Gun control in America is perfect the way it is, because the other day my daughter was seeing a boy and i caught them in bed. Then i pulled out my shotgun and nearly shot him. As he was running away I shouted " The only person allowed to f*ck my daughter is me!".

-2

-1

Orphans always dip their Oreos in water? Hoping their dad comes back with the milk.

-2

-1

* * *

Do one day i was sitting on my couch watching youtube when i heard a knock on the door. i opened the door and to my surprise it was my dad. i haven’t seen him in 16 years, so i let him in. i noticed he had a gallon of milk in his hand and he went to the kitchen and put the milk in the fridge. then he walked towards me and said “Oh no! i forgot the cereal! ” then he walked out the door and drove away. i never saw him again

-2

-1

* * *

What do you call you’re daughter’s boyfriend when he brings her back past 10pm?

An ambulance

-2

-1

* * *

What do Chinese parents hate the most?

A new born daughter…

-2

-1