Best Jokes

Chinese Names — Annie Wan (Anyone)

Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan (anyone)?

Operator: Yes, you can speak to me.

Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan (anyone)!

Operator: You are talking to someone! Who is this?

Caller: I’m Sam Wan (Someone). And I need to talk to Annie Wan (anyone)! It’s urgent.

Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what’s this urgent matter about?

Caller: Well… just tell my sister Annie Wan (anyone) that our brother Noel Wan (no one)?as involved in an accident. Noel Wan (no one) got injured and now Noel Wan (no one) is being sent to the hospital.

Operator: Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn’t an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don’t have time for this!

Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?

Operator: I’m Saw Lee (Sorry).

Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!

Why did Logan Paul go to the suicide forest?

To see who’s hanging around.

Stephen hawkings last words were the windows closing sound

Is Depression an emotion or a state of mind? I call it a lifestyle

Despite Michael Jackson’s legal problems while we was alive, McDonald’s is still going to honor his life achievements in the music industry by naming a sandwich after him.

They’re going to call it the McMichael! It’s going to be a fifty year old piece of meat pressed between two eight year old buns.

What’s a aliens favorite computer key?

The space bar!

Did you hear how Steven Hawkins Died? There was a mix up and he was dropped at pc world instead of A&E!

I’ve never worn my gay sweater, it hasn’t come out of the closet yet

What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs? – One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.

What do u call a train that carries bubblegum? Chew-chew train! heeheee

Whats the hardest part when making skimmed milk? throwing the cow across the lake

My dad still hasn’t come back with the milk. Now we are stuck eating dry cereal.

Yo mama so fat, even Bob the Builder said, “We can’t fix that!”

Why did Joey drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck. (Don’t worry, the truck was fine.)

A man walks into a bar with an alligator and a stick. He walks up to the bartender and offers to put on a show for the bar’s patrons in exchange for a drink. The bartender agrees, so he pulls down his pants, sticks his dick in the alligators mouth and starts whacking it with the stick. After he’s done and gets his drink he asks if anyone else would like a go.

A lady gets up and says yes she would like a go, asks that he doesn’t hit her with the stick.

So there I was f@cking my sister and she’s shouts “god you f@ck like dad” I then said “damn that’s what mom said”

I was thinking of a good accident joke and I asked my sister, she said you