Самое популярное 12 July

What’s a aliens favorite computer key?

The space bar!

Despite Michael Jackson’s legal problems while we was alive, McDonald’s is still going to honor his life achievements in the music industry by naming a sandwich after him.

They’re going to call it the McMichael! It’s going to be a fifty year old piece of meat pressed between two eight year old buns.

Chinese Names — Annie Wan (Anyone)

Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan (anyone)?

Operator: Yes, you can speak to me.

Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan (anyone)!

Operator: You are talking to someone! Who is this?

Caller: I’m Sam Wan (Someone). And I need to talk to Annie Wan (anyone)! It’s urgent.

Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what’s this urgent matter about?

Caller: Well… just tell my sister Annie Wan (anyone) that our brother Noel Wan (no one)?as involved in an accident. Noel Wan (no one) got injured and now Noel Wan (no one) is being sent to the hospital.

Operator: Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn’t an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don’t have time for this!

Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?

Operator: I’m Saw Lee (Sorry).

Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!

Why did Logan Paul go to the suicide forest?

To see who’s hanging around.

I’ve never worn my gay sweater, it hasn’t come out of the closet yet

Stephen hawkings last words were the windows closing sound

What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs? – One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.

Whats the hardest part when making skimmed milk? throwing the cow across the lake

Yo mama so fat, even Bob the Builder said, “We can’t fix that!”

Why did Joey drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck. (Don’t worry, the truck was fine.)

The person who made it a law to not hurt girls is stupid because we’ve all kicked a pregnant woman before we where even born.

The doctor says to the woman there was good and bad news. the woman says she wants the bad news first the doctor says the bad news is the baby had red hair. then he said the good news is it is dead.

So there I was f@cking my sister and she’s shouts “god you f@ck like dad” I then said “damn that’s what mom said”

Did you hear how Steven Hawkins Died? There was a mix up and he was dropped at pc world instead of A&E!

I entered 10 puns in a pun contest, hoping one would win, but no pun in ten did.

Donald Trump is making hospitals so poor that they are using kidney beans for their transplants

Is Depression an emotion or a state of mind? I call it a lifestyle

I see some objects over there… oh never mind, that’s a woman.

A bully walks up to a kid named Billy to insult him and steal his lunch money. Later that night when he is at home, the bully’s father comes into his room to insult him and take the lunch money he stole. The father walks down stair to check on his father in the living room. When he walks in, his father insults him and takes the lunch money. The grandfather of the bully walks into the back yard and in the dark is Billy. The grandfather walks up to him and says “Where’s my money you worthless old fart.”

In the hospital paralyzed kid: I’m out walks out the room blind kid: you can walk?! mute kid: you can see?! deaf kid: you can talk?! doctor: wut the f(beep)k

Wait isnt this sans job to make a joke?

Ur so ugly that when u came out of the hunted house u had a job offer

What do you call Mexican that smokes weed.a Baked bean