Fire jokes

Three unlucky jungle explorers were captured by a band of cannibals. Whilst being tied to three respective stakes, the chieftain announces that the hapless adventurers were about to die. “After you’re dead, you’ll be skinned. The skin will be used to increase our canoe armada, and the rest of you will be food for us and our families.” This announcement

On the inside of a fire hydrant you’ll find H2O. What’s on the outside? K9P

I had a friend who was a deep sleeper. One day, a fire started in his house. Now he’s a really deep sleeper.

Once upon a time, there were three kingdoms, all bordering on the same lake. For centuries, these kingdoms had fought over an island in the middle of that lake. One day, they decided to have it out, once and for all.

The first kingdom was quite rich, and sent an army of 25 knights, each with three squires. The night before the battle, the knights

Roses are red, Violets are red, Sunflowers are red,

HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN’S ON FIRE

A man got fired from the first coin factory. he exclaimed “no! this is the only thing thats ever made cents!!”

Are you the Lusitania cos i wanna fire a torpedo into you

A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat he is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with “what do you mean I already did it” then the police ran back to the school to aprehend the other people he was planing it with the cops busted in through the doors which caused a smoke trap to go off which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles 4 per pole. Back to the station holding the kid being apprehended. the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said “Aww it pays to be lazy!”

What do you call Stephen HAawking on fire

Hot wheels

What’s the difference between a hamster and a cigarette? They’re both harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire

Why Was The Blonde Fired From The M&M Factory?

For Throwing Out the W’s

A missionary was caught by cannibals. we was tied up and thrown into a big pot. The cannibals were chopping up vegetables and throwing them into the pot with the missionary. When they lit the fire under the pot, the missionary said, “You can’t stew me. I’m a friar.”

Q. Two gay guys are having sex, when suddenly the house catches fire. Who gets out of the house first, the guy on top or bottom?

A. They guy on the bottom because he already has his shit packed.

I live next to a kindergarten and yesterday they had a fire drill. It was kinda weird because normally it’s me who has a drill around little children.

Q: How do you make a 9/11 cocktail?

A: Light two Manhattans on fire and then knock them over.

Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exersice. They got up into the air and Jim said, “okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want.” Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, “I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire.” Allyn said “what?” As he looked over at Jim.