Straight jokes

So a retarded kids mom drops her kid off at school and says “you better stop the bus today because I’m not picking you up” and so he agrees and he arrives at the bus stop and says “stop” (in a retarded voice) and the bus goes straight past him the next day the mom says the same thing and the kid goes to the bus stop and says “stop” (in a retarded voice) and the bus goes straight past him the third day his mom says “I don’t care if have to jump out in the middle of the road you better stop that bus” so the kid goes to bus stop and jumps out in the middle of the road and says “Stop!” The bus driver runs over him a nearby lady stops the bus and says “why’d you run that poor kid over” and he responds “‘cause he was making fun of me” (in a retarded voice)

I asked what LGBTQ stands for and I couldn’t get straight answer??

A police officer writes a ticket for a car not being parked correctly. The driver asks why. When he realizes he is parked poorly, he responds “Oh. I’m terribly sorry. You see, I’m so gay I can’t even park straight.”

NWA: Straight Outta Compton Kobe Bryant: Straight Outta the Helicopter

I KNOW IT’S MARCH, BUT I THOUGHT OF THIS!!

Jingle bells, jingle bells! OH GOD, SANTA FELL! I guess it’s time for Mrs. Claus to go straight down to hell!

I was doing a race and I started after everyone cause I fell, but when I got up I realized I couldn’t even race, not because I was behind, because I can’t go straight, if i’m gay…

My brother caught Covid last month.

First I knew about it was when he speed-dialled me at 3am and gasped, ‘I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe!’

I just told him straight: ‘Bro… you really need to work on your George Floyd jokes.’

Whats one thing gay people can’t draw? a straight line.

In Africa, it doesn’t matter if you’re gay, straight or bisexual. At the end of the day, it’s night.

Two men are in a rainforest and one of them is peeing. Suddenly a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the man’s penis. The other man says, “ Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!”. He didn’t have enough time to load the man into the car so he went straight to the hospital. The man told the doctor what happened and the doctor said, “You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out. The man wen back to the other man and said, “ There is no hope, you will die.”

Me and my friend got in to a fight I look straight forward and said look me in my eyes

One day i visited my friend in a hospital I remember when i spoke “You know, sometimes it’s reaching its peak and its lowest state, but i know you’ll always end like the others at calming and straight” Yes, i talked about heart monitor beside him

Father: “That’s great son. Who is she?”

Son: “It’s Tina, the neighbor’s daughter”.

Father: “Ohhh I wish you hadn’t said that.I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother.Tina is actually your sister.”

The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later

Son: “Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!”

Father: “That’s great son. Who is she?”

Son: “It’s Peny, the other neighbor’s daughter.”

Father: “Ohhhh I wish you hadn’t said that. Peny is also your sister.”

This went on couple of times and the son was so mad,he went straight to his mother crying.

Son: “Mum I am so mad at dad! I fell in love with six girls but I can’t date any of them because daddy is their father!”

The mother hugs him affectionately and says:

“My love, you can date whoever you want. Don’t listen to him. He is not your Father.”!!!

“I’m going through a lot of things right now,” I said frustratedly to the person on the line as I crashed straight through the next building in my car.

Roses are red my heart my heart is dead I have a gun straight to my head

What the difference between being gay and straight, well it is the hole