I told the judge I thought she was unconscious before she woke up crying. The judge asked: why didn’t you drug her again so she would forget?
What do you call a prostitute with no arm or legs Cash and carry
What is the difference between a sloth and a depressed kid? A sloth doesn’t need a rope to hang
So sad when the emo kid tried to give a high five to a tree To bad he left him hanging
What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn’t matter, he won’t come anyway.
“Hold my beer, watch this.”
a depressed kid tried to give a tree high-five but the tree left him hanging People at my school have started to wear Logan Paul merch. I try to give them a high five, but they always leave me hanging.
Depression is like therapy the more you see it the more you get used to it
Why do orphans cry at insurance places They got offered the family plan
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is “dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks " what’s that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " f@cking, f@ck,f@ck,f@ck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad’s in the kitchen f@cking the turkey.
The depressed kid at school tried giving the tree a high five It left him hanging
im jealous at me led lights. cause they r hanging from the celling ans im not.
i will always remember my grandfather’s last words before he died: is that a real chainsaw?
I went to visit my friends sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him he kept repeating “Ni caizhe wo de yangqi guan” Suddenly right in front of me, he passed. Later that night I translated his last words, and they were “You’re standing on my oxygen tube”
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He yelled, "Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!" The Doctor replies, “I know, I amputated your arms.”
RUS | ENG
