Dark Humor

me: have you ever went sky diving friend:No me:Well don’t it sucks friend:Why me:They gave me a parachute and I lived

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Me: Man I wish my clothes were emo. Friend:Why? Me:so they would hang themselves

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They say string theory is hanging on by a thread.

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Brother: I bought my brother a trampoline today, the ungrateful f@ck just sat in his wheelchair and cried if your depressed and you crying like this joke

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You use your legs as support you count on your fingers

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Other girls be like “I want a 6ft guy”, meanwhile I want to be 6ft under ????

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knock knock whos their boo boo who well you dont have to cry about it gary

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To whoever has my voodoo doll, please hold its hand.

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what was my great grandpas last words SHIT MG42!!!

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What’s the hardest line to draw in a hospital? * … A FLATLINE!

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a boy got a soccer ball and a bike for Christmas. Why is he sad? He doesn’t have legs

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a mom cows last words were to the mom cows son they were you are then died the son though that he was adopted but then 3 years later the mom cow rose from the dead and said to her son that she was going to say you were adorable then she died once more then 2 years later she rose from htm title=' her son and that’s why we adopted you.'>the dead for the last time to say to her son and that’s why we adopted you.

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A man walks into a bar. Sits down and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating for and said he’ll give one shot on the house. The man said I celebrating my first blowjob. And nah if 12 shots doesn’t get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.

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Little Jonny walks in on his parents having sex. He asks what their doing and the father says: “Well…We’re making you a brother.” So little Jonny runs off to let his parents finish, happy that he’s going to have a brother soon. The next day when little Jonny’s father comes come Jonny is crying out on the driveway. The father sits down next to Jonny and asks what’s wrong. Jonny cries: “I won’t have a baby brother!” HIs father is confused. “What do you mean?” He asks. “Because the mailman came by today and ate him!”

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so if the reason people used to hang women because they were seen as witches back in the day, if boys were to be hung would they be called wizards?

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