Why did Billy not like the soccer ball he got for Christmas?.. He has no legs…
I saw my friend hang themselves my response was i guess they wanted to hang with someone
My girlfriends last words I can’t wait to become a mom
If I was a party, then anxiety must be the cousin depression felt obligated to bring to the party and insomnia the little annoying sibling.
I still remember my grandpas last words Stop shaking the damn ladder
I started crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a good dog.
When the people that see u Cry that doesn’t mean they miss u That mean they scared of yo Onion breath????
my grandpa died in 9/11 i was told his last words where Allahu Akbar
Me and a person downtown. Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night. Me: I guess so. Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this? Me: I don’t know. I used too, but don’t anymore. Person: why’d you stop? Me: unfortunately, I lived every time I’d try something.
You can’t YEE your last H A W! but I put my BALLS in ur JAW.
“Boom, quick; you have five seconds to give me three reasons to live.” “1…2…3 ……4…5…” Did you noticed you said nothing at all?
So there’s a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says “Step on a crack and you break your mother’s back,”. The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother’s back breaking. The little girl’s father looks in terror, she then says “step on a line and you break your father’s spine,”. The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out “OW MY SPINE, ”. The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.
Once i was walking along the beach and there was a girl with no arms or legs there, i walked by and she said excuse me, will you touch me ive never been touched before, i was like okay so i touched her, i kept on walking along and there was the same girl, she said sir will you kiss me, i went alright so i went up and kissed her, i thought that was weird but anyway i kept walking along and there she was again, she said sir will you f@ck me? I went okay so i picked her up and threw her in the ocean and went YOUR f@ckED NOW
Who needs April fools… When your whole life is a joke?
What does an emo do on Halloween, they hang like a decoration
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