They say people are 75% water But I’m 100% useless
Me and a person downtown. Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night. Me: I guess so. Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this? Me: I don’t know. I used too, but don’t anymore. Person: why’d you stop? Me: unfortunately, I lived every time I’d try something.
Q: what happened when the depressed kid wanted to high five the tree? A: It left him/her/them hanging
Why did the noble gas cry? Because all his friends Argon.
Your legs are just like oreos! I wanna split the ends and eat whats in between.
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He yelled, "Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!" The Doctor replies, “I know, I amputated your arms.”
Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.
I was crying when Sasha died in AOT, i also got jealous.
Are you a toaster? Bc I want to take a bath w you ;)
If you watch " jaws" backward it will be a heartwarming story about a shark who giving arms and legs to disable people
what’s the difference between an onion and a baby? nobody cries when you cut up the baby.
I could never forget my grandfathers last words. “Stop shaking the ladd-”
Stephen hawkings last words were the windows closing sound
They say string theory is hanging on by a thread.
911 what’s your emergency Me, my grandma just passed out in the living room and I think she’s dead Well it’s not a living room any more Me, hangs up Whats worse than 1000 dead babies hanging off a tree? 1 dead baby hanging of 1000 trees
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