My ex-wife was smoking pot with Snow White, when the 7 dwarf’s saw them they sang… “Look at those high Ho’s! Hiiiiiiii Hoooooo’sssss!!!”
When you have an ex you will notice that the word ex is short for exicuted so thats there for yous
I went to a stand up show with the person who made my like a joke
What does an astronaut call his ex from space?
SpaceX
My ex missis me but her aim is geting better
I was hit by a car later my ex lost her bus job
When your so rich that you can buy anything you end up getting a cow in your living room yeah anyways my ex is still in my living room
Me:Whats that sound? Ex:What? Me:oh its the elevator going up. BYEEEE see you on another level!
#takemebacksophie
Today was the worst day ever. My Ex got hit by a truck… On the plus side my truck doesn’t even have a dent.
My Ex wife still misses me, but her aim is getting better! Gravity Falls Suckers
The last thing i told my ex after we broke up was “at least we’re still cousins”??
So 3 guys are walking down the street together and decide to go rob a bank. The first one goes for the richest man in the city’s vault but can’t open it easily, and is caught and sent to death in jail for robbing the richest man. The second one goes for his uncles vault because screw that son of a bh he’s rich why does he need all the money. But his uncle was unfortunately at the vault that day and snapped his nephews neck. The third one went for his ex’s vault and thought “well that bh can suck my dk she’s so poor anyway who would care if I take all her money so she dies of hunger and dehydration and homelessness” so he managed to get into her vault easily because it wasn’t heavily locked and took all her money. The next day the third guys ex showed up to his house and said “imma fg murder you” so she shot him dead and got her money from his house. In hell the three guys see each other and explain what happened. The third guy did and then asked “you know I don’t get it. If the richest guys are heavily guarded but already have so much money in their house why does it need to be heavily guarded? I don’t understand why the poorer aren’t heavily guarded when they are so poor they need the money.” And the first guy said “bh I don’t know maybe the bank tellers think poor people should suck it and just die already”
One day my ex best friend lied about his computer died when he left the call and watched youtube
Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver
RUS | ENG