What do Marshall Tucker Band and Kobe Bryant have in common? Their last big hit was “Fire on the Mountain”
yo mama so stupid that she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W’s
Are you a fire alarm because your loud and annoying
Man: I got fired from my job at the calander factory. Lady: What did you do? Man: I took a day of…
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat children into the fire.
a man got fired from the first coin factory. he exclaimed “no! this is the only thing thats ever made cents!!”
Chuck Norris uses elevators only in case of fire.
The only thing brighter than my future is the fire on the world trade center.
What is black and sits at the top of the stairs? – Steven Hawking after a house fire.
whats the difference between a bear with a gun and an American Man with a gun? The bear has common sense not to fire it
my friend was in a wheel chair so i rolled him in fire now i call him hot wheels
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be Wanted. Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is. I saw a child crying yesterday so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage. What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time. Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family. What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We are Family. What’s an orphan’s least favorite tv show? Family Guy. What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents. What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House. Next: Inappropriate Jokes What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot. What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People. What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan. Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s. Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk. What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get. Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.
A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat he is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with “what do you mean I already did it” then the police ran back to the school to aprehend the other people he was planing it with the cops busted in through the doors which caused a smoke trap to go off which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles 4 per pole. Back to the station holding the kid being apprehended. the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said “Aww it pays to be lazy!”
Q: How do you make a 9/11 cocktail? A: Light two Manhattans on fire and then knock them over.
Q: Why did the chef get fired? A: He took cooking advice from Hitler!
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