A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street and they come to a kid playing in a sandbox. The priest says, “Hey, you wanna go screw that kid?” To which the rabbi replies, "Out of what?
To which the rabbi replies, "Out of what?
A Muslim is about to commit suicide when a Catholic priest stops him “What are you doing?!” Exclaims the priest
“There is nothing on this Earth for me.” The Muslim says “I will commit suicide to go to paradise and get 72 virgins!”
The priest shakes his head
“Foolish Muslim, suicide is not the way! ” He says “Follow me, Ill take you to the local primary school.”
“Follow me, Ill take you to the local primary school.”
Whats the difference between a Silver Medal and a Priest?
They both came in a little behind.
A wise man once said, "don’t think young, think tight" He was priest.
Why are priests called father? because its too suspicious to call them daddy.
Whats the difference between McDonald’s and a priest
Nothing… they both stick their meat in ten year old buns
What’s the difference between a peanut and a priest?
With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.
Say all you want about priests but at least they drive slowly in school zones
On a hot summers day a famous celebrity tweeted " it is a beautiful day and I`m deciding which kid to have fun with today" to which the local priest replied " I too am deciding which of your kids to have fun with today".
Baptism, a chance for the priest to bathe you.
Have you heard of the new sequel to “the exorcist”?
A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son
What do you get when you combine a priest and lawyer?
A Father in law
Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they’re all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there’s no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”
A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning church and the Priest says “what about the children” the rabbi says “f@ck the children” and the Priest says "do you think we’ll have time
What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit? A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.
What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.
RUS | ENG
