I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. – I lost my case.
My boyfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. what a stupid thing to Fallout 4.
I would tell you a construction pun, but I’m still working on it
Yesterday, a clown held the door open for me. It was such a nice jester! :D
What does a spy do when he’s cold? He goes under cover.
Will glass coffins be a success? – Remains to be seen.
What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards? A receding hare line. How do you cut ancient Rome in half? With a pair of Caesars.
The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar… It was tense.
What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.
I accidentally drank a little food colouring last night. I ended up dying inside.
What do you call an alligator with a vest? An investigator.
I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. – I’m not really a mourning person.
If drinking alcohol makes you an alcoholic, does drinking fanta make you fantastic?
Last night I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it was just a Fanta sea!
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? – Because they lactose.
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