Puns jokes

You know why I don’t buy Velcro items anymore?

They are a total rip off.

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I named my dog 5-Miles so now I tell people I walk 5-Miles everyday

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Communist jokes aren’t funny unless everyone gets them.

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I would tell you a construction pun, but I’m still working on it

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You wanna know why I hate circles so much? They’re just so pointless! But I guess that’s how they roll

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What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure? – A waist of time.

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I bought a wooden whistle. But it wooden whistle. so I bought a steel whistle. But it steel wooden whistle. So I bought a lead whistle. But it steel wooden lead me whistle.

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Last night I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it was just a Fanta sea!

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What does a spy do when he’s cold? He goes under cover.

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Why did the library book go to the doctor? – It needed to be checked out.

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Little johnny was siting in class one day and the teacher was talking about life and ask him " little johnny how do you want your wife to be like" and he answered " like the moon" and the teacher said " that’s such a beautiful answer because it calm and peaceful " and little htm title=' appears at night and disappears in the morning'>johnny said " no because it appears at night and disappears in the morning"

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How does a crazy person get to the woods?

He takes the psychopath.

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My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high…

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Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.

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I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win.

No pun in ten did

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