I’ve never worn my gay sweater, it hasn’t come out of the closet yet
Someone stole my toilet and the police have nothing to go on.
Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive? – It was a grave mistake.
little johnny was siting in class one day and the teacher was talking about life and ask him " little johnny how do you want your wife to be like" and he answered " like the moon" and the teacher said " that’s such a beautiful answer because it calm and peaceful " and little htm title=' appears at night and disappears in the morning'>johnny said " no because it appears at night and disappears in the morning"
Why did the library book go to the doctor? – It needed to be checked out.
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent. There’s a movie about constipation. It hasn’t come out yet.
I’d tell a sodium and hydrogen pun, but NaH
If i’m the night guard at the Samsung store, does that make me a… guardian of the galaxy?
a mexican was doing a magic trick he said “uno, dos,” then disappeared without a trace
I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.
An atom loses an electron… It says, “Man, I really gotta keep an ion them.”
What did the guy exclaim after inventing the shovel? It is ground breaking!
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
New Teslas don’t come with a new car smell they come with an Elon Musk
You wanna know why I hate circles so much? They’re just so pointless! But I guess that’s how they roll
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