Your mom is so fat when she swam in the sea Wales came up to her and said we are family even now you’re fatter than me.
Why can’t blind people eat fish? Because it’s sea food.
How do you cut the sea in half? With a sea-saw
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, “I’ll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, ‘I don’t know how you can make love to me with your type of body.’ So I asked her, ‘How about a little head?’” Other jokes: Why did the ketchup blush? He saw the salad dressing. What did the elephant ask the naked man? How do you breathe out of that thing? How do you make your husband scream during sex? Call him and let him hear it. Why does the mermaid wear seashells? She outgrew her b-shells! How is life like toilet paper? You’re either on a roll or taking shit from someone. What does one boob say to the other boob? If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts. What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? A man will actually search for a golf ball. What did Cinderella do when she arrived at the ball? She gagged.
When I was a child, my parents told me my uncle was ‘sleeping with the fishes’. At first, I thought he bought a water bed, but I then discovered he was killed and buried at sea.
Last night I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it was just a Fanta sea!
Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Because they’re shellfish!
what did the ocean say to the other ocean. nothing he just WAVED. did you SEA what I did there. GUY: yes are you SHORE
What did the fish get on his math test? A sea plus.
why is the sea salty? because the land never waves back
what did the fish say when seeing his best mate? I SEA him!
Why did the fish cross the sea? To get to the other tide! ?? ?? ??
Why is the sand always pissed of? Because the sand never waves back!
Why do Pirates say “Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!” ? First time out at sea, they prepare for battle and say to their commander: “The canons be ready Captain!” “Are” says the Captain (correcting their grammar) “Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! !!” they all exclaimed !!
I’m on sea- food diet, I see food and eat it.
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