Smoking jokes

Cremation: My last hope for a smoking hot body.

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What cigarettes Churchill’s wife likes to smoke?

A blue Winston

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In america 1 in 10 houses there are a paedophiles

Not me i live next to a smoking hot 8 year old

Me: “What are you doing??” Bully: “Where’s my nan’s urn?!?” Me: “I don’t know.” Bully: “Tell me!! says worthless shit” Me: “Next time you’re looking for the urn, don’t bother, I smoked her ashes. They were so f@cking good. I then used a quarter of them as an exfoliator, cleared my acne and eczema btw!! Then built sandcastles with them, then blew them in your family’s face after!”

Don’t bully kids.

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What do you call someone with Down Syndrome who smokes weed?

A baked potato.

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Damn girl, are you a smoke detector? Because you’re super annoying and won’t shut up.

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A little chimney said: “Ooooh, I think my house owner is making a fire in me! I’m about to smoke!!”

The big chimney said next to him: “Well, your to young to smoke…”

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Ya know I’m not to I to black girls, but Kobe’s daughter was smoking!!!

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THIS IS A RYTHME

Jack and jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana

Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said u know u wanna

Jill said yes as he grabbed her dress

And they had a little fun

Jill forgot her pills so now they have a son

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A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat he is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with “what do you mean I already did it” then the police ran back to the school to aprehend the other people he was planing it with the cops busted in through the doors which caused a smoke trap to go off which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles 4 per pole. Back to the station holding the kid being apprehended. the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said “Aww it pays to be lazy!”

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A guy stuffed some cigarrets up his eyes thinking it would make him see colors. The next day he could see only one color… Black

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When the school shooter throws a smoke bomb into the classroom and the autistic kid thinks it’s a dance party.

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Johnny Johnny? Yes pa pa Eating Sugar? Yes pa pa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing i can reach and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and you’re mad at me for eating a little sugar. Smoking? Telling lies? Yes pa pa, you do all of those things because you’re a chronic addict.

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What time is it when you can smell smoke?? inside? Time to get outside

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What do you call a guy in a wheelchair smoking weed?

A baked potato

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A couple of cows were smoking a joint and playing cards… The steaks were pretty high

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