Transport jokes

Why did Billy drop his ice cream? Cause he got hit by a bus

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What’s the difference between a bus full of children and a fish? The fish can swim

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What do you call a train that likes toffee? A chew-chew train

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I had an uncle who was a conductor. He wasn’t a symphony conductor, nor was he a street car conductor, nor was he a train conductor. He was struck by lightning.

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I was sitting next to this really hot Thai girl on the bus and all I could think to myself was, “Don’t get an erection, don’t get an erection”… But she did.

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So I was going out the door and I see me dwarf neighbour at the bus stop, I ask if he needs a lift. He replies with fu… off. So I zip up my backpack and keep going to work

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What do you call a bus full of white people? A Twinkie

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%% %%A train walks into a bar. It says to the barkeeper, “I’ll have a gallon of ale.” “A gallon?” the barkeeper asks. “Yes,” replies the train, “I always end up chugging it.”

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Why didn’t Sally get home from work. She got hit by a bus

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Why did the strawberry ?? go out with a banana? Because it could not find a date

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You wanna know why I love trains? They end my suffering.

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Say what you want about Hitler at least he got the trains to run on time

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Why can’t a steam locomotive sit down? Because it has a tender behind.

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An American, a Cuban, a Russian, and a lawyer are sitting on a subway train, in the same seat. The Cuban pulls out a Cuban cigar for each person, and hands it out. The Cuban takes one puff of his cigar, and he throws it out the window. Everybody but the Cuban goes mad. ?You just wasted an expensive Cuban cigar! How could you?? The Cuban simply says, ?See, in Cuba, cigars are very cheap.? The other passengers are reassured and respond with, ?Oh, OK.? The Russian takes out a small bottle of Russian vodka and pours a shot for all the passengers. The Russian downs his shot, and throws the vodka bottle out the window. The rest of the passengers are alarmed, once again. ?You just destroyed an expensive bottle of Russian vodka! How could you?? The Russian simply states, ?See, in Russia, vodka is very cheap.? Yet again, the other passengers are reassured and respond with, ?Ah, yes! Of course.? The American scratches his head and goes, ?I think I see the pattern here. ? So he takes the lawyer, and he throws him out the window!?

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1:My grandpa died last year 2:What kind of cancer? 1:He was hit by a bus! its called bus cancer

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