Woman jokes

Wife: “I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?” Husband: “You have perfect eyesight.”

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Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver

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My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”

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One day a guy named Carson is called a jerk and he says "I went to a party with my girlfriend and this random guy walks up to us and says can I borrow your girlfriend for a 30 minutes I say yes and he takes her up stairs. It was not only 30 minutes but a hour. When she came back down she was out of breath so I knew it was a pretty intense conversation.this happens about 3 more times that night. But as I was saying only a nice guy would let his girlfriend make friends with other guys ????

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why did the orphan not have a girlfriend? because he thought that she would leave him to.

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wha can you tella dog, but not your girlfriend…? come

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I took my girlfriend out the other day… Man do I love being a sniper.

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Jon said:What do you call a pregnant woman? Mike said: I don’t know what? Jon said: kinder surprise

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My girlfriend told me the dishwasher was leaking so I brought home some tampons

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Vagina jokes aren’t funny. Moist of the time.

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The doctor says “your wife is PREGNENT” the man says that he used a condom and the doctor says "ya but I didn’t

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like if you have a boyfriend girlfriend or husband or wife or a crush.

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i like my woman like i like my coffee in a big sack on top of donkey

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Little Jonny just came back from quarantine with his girlfriend Sally. They both said they had to go to the bathroom. When they came back Sally was coughing up a storm. The teacher said you need to be quarantined again. No sally said I was just in the bathroom choking on something that grown-ups especially women like. Then the teacher faints.

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A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE F*** F***ED MY WIFE!” A man in the back responds, “YOU AINT GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!” A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside.

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