Why can’t depressed people leave the maze?
Because their lives are the walls and they are to scared to meet the exit.
Wanna hear some famous last words? “We are just experiencing some turbulence”
Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work. Paddy agrees to tell Seamuswife the bad news. He knocks on the door and Seamus wife answers. " Whats happened Paddy?" Paddy frowns. " Im sorry to say poor Seamus fell into the Guinness vat and drowned, im so sorry." She started to cry and asked paddy: " Did he at least die quickly? " Seamus shook his head, " No, he got out 3 times for a pee."
I bet my friend $5 that he would die drowning.
A depressing but satisfying victory.
You know people always say your life is worth it, but with me it’s worth-it-less
The Orphan started crying at school when he got suspended and had to go home
Why are washers better than babies?
Washers don’t cry when you put a load in it.
**** (A cell phone in an upscale gym locker room in NYC rings and the man puts it on loud speaker next to him … everyone else in the room stops to listen): Man: Hello? Woman: Hi honey, it’s me. Are you at the club? Man: Yes. Woman: I’m out shopping and found a beautiful leather coat. It’s only $2,000 – is it OK if I buy it? Man: Sure, go ahead if you like it that much. Woman: I also stopped by that new Lexus dealership and saw one of the new models I really like – it’s on an opening special. Man: How much? Woman: $90,000. Man: Wow! OK, but for that price I want it with all the options. Woman: Great! Oh, and one more thing … I was just talking to Jamie and found out that the house we wanted to buy last year is back on the market … they’re asking $980,000 for it. Remember it was well over a million when we looked at it? Man: I dunno. Make an offer for $900,000 and they’ll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra $80,000 if that’s what you really want. Woman: OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much! Man: I love you to. **** (The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room were staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open. ) The man turns around and says: “Anyone know whose phone this is”?
What does a priest and a clown have in common?
They both make children cry
I got in trouble in school for leaving the depressed kid hanging
I will always remember my grandpa’s last words. SHIT, THE LADDER IS FALLING!
Is Depression an emotion or a state of mind? I call it a lifestyle
My grandpas last words were, why is there a body in my kitchen.
No witnessess
What is the simularite with a sloth and a depresed kid
They both hang from trees
I know Im valuable, I come with a barcode ;)
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