Ex jokes

What do the twin towers and my ex-girlfriend have in common? They both went down on my dad.

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I went to a stand up show with the person who made my like a joke

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How did Helen Keller die? Her ex gave her plutonium and told her to eat it

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My ex was so full of shit,she probably poured toilet cleaner in her nose to get relief.

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I have an exam next week so I called my ex and asked if she had any cheating tips

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My ex died today. I also lost my job as a butcher

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What do you call a cow with three legs? My ex

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I was walking down the street when i thought i smelled my ex’s perfume, turns out i was standing in front of a fish market.

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My Smoothie Ingredients -Bananas -Strawberry -The Blood of my ex -Peanut Butter

Gf- You are a drug. Bf- Why cause you are addicted to me? Gf- No, because you are number one most wanted in Montana.

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What is the difference between a coconut and your ex? One is fun to knock down by throwing rocks at the other one is a coconut.

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So 3 guys are walking down the street together and decide to go rob a bank. The first one goes for the richest man in the city’s vault but can’t open it easily, and is caught and sent to death in jail for robbing the richest man. The second one goes for his uncles vault because screw that son of a bh he’s rich why does he need all the money. But his uncle was unfortunately at the vault that day and snapped his nephews neck. The third one went for his ex’s vault and thought “well that bh can suck my dk she’s so poor anyway who would care if I take all her money so she dies of hunger and dehydration and homelessness” so he managed to get into her vault easily because it wasn’t heavily locked and took all her money. The next day the third guys ex showed up to his house and said “imma fg murder you” so she shot him dead and got her money from his house. In hell the three guys see each other and explain what happened. The third guy did and then asked “you know I don’t get it. If the richest guys are heavily guarded but already have so much money in their house why does it need to be heavily guarded? I don’t understand why the poorer aren’t heavily guarded when they are so poor they need the money.” And the first guy said “bh I don’t know maybe the bank tellers think poor people should suck it and just die already”

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My ex girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus drivers licence.

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I love to have sex and my name is lex which one should i be with next i really hate my ex i just saw a huge t rex and i think you probably saw this text

Welcome for the rhyme

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Me:Whats that sound? Ex:What? Me:oh its the elevator going up. BYEEEE see you on another level!

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My ex got hit by a bus yesterday.i nearly lost my job

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