Kid: hey dad whats dark humor ? Dad: go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him . Kid: but dad I dont have any legs or arms . Dad: exactly son.
In life it’s either Yeet or get beat and I clearly failed yeeting as a child as my dad beat me
My dad is like my depression you need a suicide letter to find him
Why did the brother cross the road? Because The Sister Farted.
My friend Jimmy said his dad is exactly like Santa, I asked “Why is it because he gives people presents?” Jimmy told me “No it’s because I hear so many good things about him but and how he’s gonna come home, but never see him.”
What do you call a redneck sister who runs faster than her brothers? A virgin.
She was only a potato chip manufacturer "s daughter - by she was Frito Lay!
Teacher: People with Depression never get anywhere in life. Student 1: My mom has depression, but she died. Student 2: My sister has depression and she’s going to Therapy. Student 3: My Dad Has depression, and he’s Doing REALLY Well
I saw my sister masturbating with a carrot. I said “Come on I was gonna eat that later! Now it’s just gonna taste like carrots!”
What’s the difference between my phone and my sister? I actually give a damn if my phone dies.
You have to do this and my sister said well I don’t care and I said well you care enough to respond back oh my gosh.
Sometimes i feel ugly, then i think of my sister and feel better
A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents. They’re appalled by his haircut, his tattoos, his piercings. Later, the girl’s mom says, “Dear, he doesn’t seem to be a very nice boy.” “Oh, please, Mom!” says the daughter. “If he wasn’t nice, would he be doing 500 hours of community service?”
911 jokes are just plane wrong, my dad was a great pilot you know. This joke problably flew over peoples heads, but for some people it flew into their head I was in Alabama last year. I walked into a store and noticed a couple kissing eachother and I said excuse where is the bathroom and the man said right over there. I went into the bathroom and then heard the girl say “Dad I have to go to school soon”
Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender? A: Nothing! He was hung over. My sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry So I threw a coconut at her
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