My sister said that you no that that is really cool than I said you no you can shut up
My sister and I were both adopted from the same country, and my parents say they got us on a “two for one special.”
My sister’s bf is mad at me cuz I f@cked his girl
You marry a single mother with an adult daughter. Now, your father marries the daughter. So, your father is your son now, because he is married to your daughter-in-law. But as your father’s son and your father’s father, you’re your own grandpa!
I complimented my neighbor’s skeleton decoration for Halloween but they just told me that it’s their anorexic daughter. Please read all of it I know it’s long please read all of it. This dad heard his daughter praying as she was praying she came to an end: " Goodnight grandma, goodbye grandpa, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy. The dad didn’t think about the grandpa part and headed to bed. The next morning the mom and dad heard that the grandpa died the dad thought it was just coincidence so he carried on his day. At night he heard his daughter again: “Goodbye grandma, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy. After he heard goodbye grandma his facial expression changed and went straight to bed. The next morning the grandma died out of nowhere the dad began to worry and continued on his day, at night he heard his daughter again " Goodbye daddy, goodnight mommy. The dad got scared so he had a plan to go to work and stay hidden there so that’s what he did. When he got home the next day his wife asked where he had been and he replied back " Sorry honey I had a horrible day today.” She replied back saying: " OH YOU THINK YOU HAD A BAD THE MAILMAN JUST DIED ON THE FRONTPORCH THIS MORNING" If you get it you get it.
roses are red violets are violets my dad died in 9/11 and he was a good piolet
What do you call a boomerang that never comes back? Daddy
Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender? A: Nothing! He was hung over. My sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry So I threw a coconut at her
What do the twin towers and my ex-girlfriend have in common? They both went down on my dad.
What makes a joke a dad joke? I don’t know. I don’t even have one as an example.
So a daughter asks her father “dad what is you opinion on abortions?” So her father says why don’t you ask your sister. The daughter responds “but I don’t have a sister… Oh”
what is a lion call as a baby cocota
Kid:what is between moms legs? Dad:paridise. Kid whats between you legs? Dad:the key to paridise. Kid:well uou better change the lock the neighbor has the key to.
Little Johnny catches his parents going at it and says “hey dad! Whatcha doin?” His father says “I’m filling your moms tank” Johnny says, “oh yeah well, you better get a model that gets better mileage because th milk man filled her up this morning.”
I haven’t talked to my wife in three weeks. – I didn’t want to interrupt her. A female class teacher was having a problem with a boy in her class in Grade 3… The boy said, “Madam, I should be in Grade 4. I am smarter than my sister & she’s in Grade 4”. The Madam had heard enough and took the boy to the principal.The principal decided to test the boy with some
RUS | ENG
