Fire jokes

What’s Black and sits at the top of the stairs? Stephen Hawkins in a house fire.

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What’s the difference between a hamster and a cigarette? They’re both harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire

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What do you call Steven Hawkins on fire

Hot wheels

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What does a cigarette and a hamster have in common?

Both are completely harmless untill you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.

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Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter? He was shredding the floor…

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Hey God what are you making?

Just a wooden stick that lights on fire

Sounds like a match made in heaven

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Wood fired pizza?

Hows pizza gonna pay child support now?!:O

Please drop a like

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Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be Wanted.

Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.

I saw a child crying yesterday so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.

What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.

Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.

What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We are Family.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite tv show? Family Guy.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.

Next: Inappropriate Jokes

What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.

What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.

What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.

Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms

What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.

Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.

What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin

Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.

Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.

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The only thing brighter than my future is the fire on the world trade center.

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On the inside of a fire hydrant you’ll find H2O. What’s on the outside? K9P

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What do you call Stephen HAawking on fire

Hot wheels

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Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? – He took a day off.

Commander: "Fire a warning shot" Soldier: "Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher" Commander: "potato, potato, just fire" Soldier: fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school Commander: “They’re trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!”

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Whats the difference between a bear with a gun and an American Man with a gun?

The bear has common sense not to fire it

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One man was very depressed cause he lost everything. He lost his job. He lost his home and he lost his wife. So he went lonely into the forest to grief. Suddenly with the head rise up he sees Santa Claus walking by. — Santa? he asks. ‘Why are you early, it is not even christmas?’

Ho, ho. Don’t worry about me. Lets worry about you instead’ says Santa. What is the problem my friend?’

I lost everything good in my life. I got fired from my job. My wife divorced me. I lost my house." Santa: I can help you. You can wish three things you want in life and i’ll give it to you-" Man: My first wish is i want my house back. Santa: Done! Man: My second wish is i want 1 million amount of cash in my bank account. Santa: Done! Man: My third wish is i also want my job back! Santa: Done, but before i actually give you those wishes, I haft to hump you. Man: Okey. Lets do it. So the Santa claus takes of his pants to hump the man. After they are done humping the santa ask the man: -How old are you? Man: I am 35 years old. Santa: And still believe in Santa Claus??!! HOHOHOHO!!!

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Sunflowers are red,

HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN’S ON FIRE

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