Why can’t orphans get a job? Because they don’t have a home.
What do you not want to do when it comes to giving an emo a job?
Showing them the ropes.
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Employer: Can you preform under pressure? Me: No, but i do a pretty good Bohemian Rhapsody.
This isnt an orphan joke but. I got a job at a library, but it only lasted 15 minutes. Turns out, books about women’s rights shouldn’t go in the Sci-Fi / Fantasy section.
If you were to ask me, ‘What is the easiest job in the world?’, it would be an Australian psychiatrist. “G’Day, G’Day…how you doing…no worries, next!”.
Today was a bad day. First My ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver
John: hi boss it is raining heavily today so I would not be coming
Boss: u stated in ur job application that swimming was it hobby so see u at at 11am
Last Night I had a dream I was swimming in lemonade… turns out I peed the bed.
What’s a spider-man’s dream job? Web developer
How come orphans know how to do laundry cause thats usually the moms job
I lost my job by giving up my seat to someone I didn’t know you’re not supposed to do that if you’re a bus driver!
I went for a job interview today and the manager said, “We’re looking for someone who is responsible.”
“Well, I’m your man.” I replied, “In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”
I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.
But when I got home, all the signs were there.
Today I learned that a group of piranhas can maul a small child down to the bone in under 20 seconds. Well I lost my job at the aquarium today.
Guy asked me what I do for a living. Now I’m not old enough to get a job so I said nothing. He asked me again so I said, “Your wife” The guy goes to slap me but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, “You swore not to tell!”
RUS | ENG
