Life jokes

What’s Thanos’ favorite game? Half-life

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Dont say your life is a joke because jokes got meaning.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

Life is like a box of chocolates, mostly dissapointing

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I went to see my grandfather in the hospital because I Wanted to get to know him better before he passed, maybe take a selfie with him. But when I got there my phone died so I unplugged a vacuum to plug in my phone, and it turns out he only knows Spanish so When he kept saying “Me desconectaste el soporte de mi vida.” I thought he wanted water, but when I got back with the water he was asleep and now my phone was charged so I translated what he said. And it was “You unplugged my life support”, that’s when I called the doctor…

Good news is, I got one sick selfie!

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Website: Submit a joke:-) Me: My life.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

1 your so dumb you thing Cheerios are donut seeds!

Your so fat you could sell shade!

Your just like coconut water, nobody likes you! 4 you been shopping lately because there selling lives around the corner, you should go get one! If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence!! Are these good

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Life is a try not to kill yourself challenge.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Roses are red, life has no meaning, voices in my head, are constantly screaming.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

%%Rules of Dark humor:

All subject matter can be used, nothing is off limits.

No saying “Me” or “My Life” as a joke. Nobody finds those funny. We want actual good and meaningful jokes.

Don’t Repeat Previously Posted Jokes. If you are saying the same joke that the person right before you posted you are just begging for attention and nobody by any means likes that. I will add more in the future and be frequent on this site.

Sincerely, Zane

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Life’s too short to want it.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What makes a nuke and divorce the same?

It only takes one of each to end your life.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

(I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes)

What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick

I was going to tell a dead baby joke. But I decided to abort.

Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead.

4.Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They’re painful to look at.

Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.

Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.

My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Im not suicidal im just speedrunning life

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What did Earth say to the other planets? – “You guys have no life!”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

The closest thing in a depression person’s life is a knife and his/her throat

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
- up - << N E X T! >> random

© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2024