little johnny was siting in class one day and the teacher was talking about life and ask him " little johnny how do you want your wife to be like" and he answered " like the moon" and the teacher said " that’s such a beautiful answer because it calm and peaceful " and little htm title=' appears at night and disappears in the morning'>johnny said " no because it appears at night and disappears in the morning"
What did Earth say to the other planets? – “You guys have no life!”
What do you do when life gives you lemons Slit your wrist and give a lemon a twist.??????
Kid: what is the biggest mistake you made in your life. Parents: go look above the bathroom sink *kid goes and looks but then he reilises
Website: Submit a joke :-) Me: My life.
Nobody Literally nobody Gordan Ramsey: do you need me to bring Hitler back to life so he can show you how to use a f@cking oven
I went to see my grandfather in the hospital because I Wanted to get to know him better before he passed, maybe take a selfie with him. But when I got there my phone died so I unplugged a vacuum to plug in my phone, and it turns out he only knows Spanish so When he kept saying “Me desconectaste el soporte de mi vida.” I thought he wanted water, but when I got back with the water he was asleep and now my phone was charged so I translated what he said. And it was “You unplugged my life support”, that’s when I called the doctor… Good news is, I got one sick selfie!
Guy: My life is like a game, I should end it. Guy 2: Is it a hard life? Guy: Yup Guy 2: Then you can’t kill yourself LOL Guy 3: Hold on, I know a cheat code to finish the “game” %%He attempted suicide Sep 16, and was in life support, till his parents made the tough decision of taking him off.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friends pen, in the end he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chickens life
whats the difference between a maze and a depressed life? one of them you can find a way out of
Friend #1: “Yo guys, what’s the most unfair game you’ve ever played? For me it’s Fortnite.” Friend #2: “I’d have to say Monopoly.” Me: “The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it’s a one-way game.” Friend #2: “Uhh…that’s not exactly what he meant…” Friend #1: calls the suicide hotline
it says enter a joke, but I can’t enter my life.
The closest thing in a depression person’s life is a knife and his/her throat
Thankfully I’m still alive because I fail at everything in life.
I was talking to a beaver about my life. I dont think he really gave a dam about it at all.
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