Lost jokes

Where did the cat go when it lost it’s tail? – To the retail store!

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I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

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My dad is like my virginity. I lost him at 12

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A man in conversation with his friend says that his wife is on a 3-week diet. The friend curiously asks, how much has she lost? The man replies, “her life.”

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I lost my drivers license today i hit my ex with my car

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Three men are travelling through the desert when their single camel dies. They walk for a while but then it becomes night. Desperate for shelter, suddenly they stumble across a tent and inside is three beautiful women. The men were not only lost but horny too so they begin to have sex with the women. But the tent belongs to a prince and these three women were his wives so he is very angry when he arrives an hour later and sees three strangers having sex with his wives. He tells the three men he will chop off their penises as punishment, in some way relating to their job. He asks the first man what his job is: The guy says, "I’m a fireman" The prince says, "Then we’ll burn your dick off!" The second guy says, "I’m an employee at the shooting range" The prince says, "Then we’ll shoot your dick off! " The third guy smiles and says, "I’m a lollipop salesman

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As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.

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“You look like you’ve lost some weight.” “Really? Well, whatever weight I lost, you found it, pal!”

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