I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win.
No pun in ten did
Why doesn’t the Sun go to college? – Because it has a million degrees.
Do you want to hear a money joke? Never mind it makes no cents
I went for a job interview today and the manager said, “We’re looking for someone who is responsible.”
“Well, I’m your man.” I replied, “In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”
Last night I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it was just a Fanta sea!
Someone stole my toilet and the police have nothing to go on.
I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. – I lost my case.
What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards?
A receding hare line.
How do you cut ancient Rome in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
What do you call a nose without a body? – Nobody knows.
RIP boiling water. You will be mist.
There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.
You know why I don’t buy Velcro items anymore?
They are a total rip off.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
I Googled “How to start a Wildfire”. I got 48,500 matches.
Dont trust atoms they make up everything.
I wanted to make a belt out of watches, then I realized, it was a waist of time!
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