Sea jokes

What do you get when you cross a shark and a snowman?

Frostbite!

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Why do seagulls fly over the sea and not the bay?

Because then they would be called bagels!???

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What sea creature can add up? A octoplus

Why was the kids report card all wet?

Because it was below “sea” level

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Dude ur last name sounds like a sea food shop, Jordan C

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People were scared of the alligator because it ate every one, so they called for the water god Aquarius. He said " sea ya later alligator!" and he drowned.

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Once there were twins, Mark and Michael, Mark was the owner of a old boat. It so happened that Michael’s wife died the same day that Mark’s boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Mark and mistook him for Michael. She said, "I’m sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible. "Mark, thinking that she was talking about his boat, said, “Heck no. In fact, I’m sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shrivelled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water; she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn’t very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle! ” The old lady fainted.???

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I’ve always wanted to WAVE to a dolphin, but it could never SEA me. That dolphin is so WASHED up. WATER you say we get revenge?

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Why do Pirates say “Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!”? First time out at sea, they prepare for battle and say to their commander: “The canons be ready Captain!” “Are” says the Captain (correcting their grammar) “Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! !!” they all exclaimed!!

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Vladimir Putin, Donald Trump and Angela Merkel are standing at the shore and are trying to impress each other with the accomplishments of their countries. Putin brags „We have nuclear submarines which can stay under water for six weeks without having to resurface!“. Trump goes on „Six weeks? That’s nothing. I have the best submarines, they‘re underwater fur at least three months!“. Merkel is about to respond, when a giant steel colossus emerges from the sea. A hatch opens, a black uniform appears — „Heil Hitler! We need Diesel.“

How does the sea say hello It WAVES you SEA what I did their I’m SHORE you saw it Don’t be SALTY

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Fishing and girlfriends are exactly alike, there may be plenty of fish in the sea, but until i find one, i’m stuck here holding my rod

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I tried a pun about water but people “sea” right through it, and when people complain they are usually just being a beach

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A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, “I’ll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me

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If seagulls fly over the sea what flies over the bay

Bagels

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How do oysters call their friends?

On shell phones!

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I’m on sea- food diet, I see food and eat it.

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