Straight jokes

You when you face the boss the first time::) you when dark souls boss music starts playing on the second phase::( you when you ask why do you hear boss music: ( you when the boss goes straight to his final phase after 1 hit:

..

Everyone: so wait let me get this straight feminist want to cancel fathers day because it is offensive to single mothers

Feminist: correct

Everyone: THEN WTF IS THE POINT OF MOTHERS DAY

If gay means happy then i am now straight

A news headline read: A toddler has shot a person every week in the US for two years straight He was in the infantry

I complimented my neighbor’s skeleton decoration for Halloween but they just told me that it’s their anorexic daughter.

Please read all of it I know it’s long please read all of it.

This dad heard his daughter praying as she was praying she came to an end: " Goodnight grandma, goodbye grandpa, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy. The dad didn’t think about the grandpa part and headed to bed. The next morning the mom and dad heard that the grandpa died the dad thought it was just coincidence so he carried on his day. At night he heard his daughter again: “Goodbye grandma, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy. After he heard goodbye grandma his facial expression changed and went straight to bed. The next morning the grandma died out of nowhere the dad began to worry and continued on his day, at night he heard his daughter again " Goodbye daddy, goodnight mommy. The dad got scared so he had a plan to go to work and stay hidden there so that’s what he did. When he got home the next day his wife asked where he had been and he replied back " Sorry honey I had a horrible day today.” She replied back saying: " OH YOU THINK YOU HAD A BAD THE MAILMAN JUST DIED ON THE FRONTPORCH THIS MORNING" If you get it you get it.

All the lines on the LGBT flag are straight

I was doing a race and I started after everyone cause I fell, but when I got up I realized I couldn’t even race, not because I was behind, because I can’t go straight, if i’m gay…

Gays: I like men Straights: I like women Russia:Hole is hole

My friend said “Dude, if you don’t put your desk in line with the column, your gay.” so he did it and i said “Well i guess now he’s straight” ;D

A straight man and a gay man are talking, the straight man says, “I’m wanted in 2 states for murder.” and the gay man replies with, “oh, that sucks. I’m wanted in 13 for existing.”

Why do gays get bad grades?

They don’t get straight a’s

Why did Sally stare out the window for 24 hours straight? Sally’s used to being blind!

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(pre-election 2016) Trump Hating Comedian at seedy East L.A. comedy club -

"Hey how "bout that Donald Trump chump… what the f@ck up with that dude, man?

“Geeeezus, he got some kuh-razy ass shit spewing endlessly out that pie-hole, 24/8!” ( leap week, muthafukas!)

... "I mean, even his last name rhymes with shit that’s

So a retarded kids mom drops her kid off at school and says “you better stop the bus today because I’m not picking you up” and so he agrees and he arrives at the bus stop and says “stop” (in a retarded voice) and the bus goes straight past him the next day the mom says the same thing and the kid goes to the bus stop and says “stop” (in a retarded voice) and the bus goes straight past him the third day his mom says “I don’t care if have to jump out in the middle of the road you better stop that bus” so the kid goes to bus stop and jumps out in the middle of the road and says “Stop!” The bus driver runs over him a nearby lady stops the bus and says “why’d you run that poor kid over” and he responds “‘cause he was making fun of me” (in a retarded voice)

I asked what LGBTQ stands for and I couldn’t get straight answer??

I went to school with a gay guy who was really smart, but he always got mad that he got straight A’s instead of getting all the D’s