Why was I stress eating on the train track?
To wait to get hit.
Whats yellow and cant swim but screams when it goes under. A school bus full of kids
What do you call a train that stalls?
The little engine that couldn’t!
To become a licensed, airline pilot requires 1,500 hours (two years) of training. But it only takes 10 seconds to steal the pilot’s jacket and hat.
What’s black and yellow and cant swim?
A School Bus Full Of Orphans
A robber breaks into a house while the residents are away one dark night. Eager to see what he can loot, he quickly starts searching through cupboards and dressers, grabbing valuables with a trained eye. Suddenly, he hears a voice come out of nowhere. “Jesus is watching you.” The criminal jumps, scared the residents are back, and freezes. After a few minutes of silence however, he assumes it was his imagination, and goes back to robbing. A couple minutes pass, before once again, the voice returns. “Jesus is watching you.” Quite confused, the thief searches the house and checks the front door, but nothing pops out as unusual. He finally decides to move rooms, and finds a parrot, but ignores it. Before he can begin to do anything, someone speaks again, “Jesus is watching you.” The robber realized it was the parrot talking! Going to the parrot, he asks it, “Are you the one who’s been talking to me?” The parrot responds, “Yes.” The thief couldn’t believe it. So, he asks another question. “What is your name?” “Ismael.” the parrot replies. The man scoffed. “What type of idiot names a parrot Ismael?” The parrot speaks yet again, “The same type of idiot that names a Rottweiler Jesus.”
How does a train eat?
Chew chew!
Why can’t a steam locomotive sit down?
Because it has a tender behind.
I’ll never forget my father’s last words…
Oh f@ck, it’s a bus!
Why did little Timmy drop his ice cream cone?
He got hit by a bus.
What is yellow and cant swim?
A bus full of kids.
Today; Worst day ever
My annoying sibling got hit by a train and I lost my job as a conductor.
Is it normal my emo cousins hobby is tying himself to train tracks.
My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year? ” I said, “Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!”
I said, “Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!”
What’s white and annoying at breakfast? An avalanche.
Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She got hit by an axe.
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus. How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.
How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.
RUS | ENG
