Woman jokes

My girlfriend is 19 and I’m 29. We go out to eat in a restaurant but the whole time I have to deal with being accused of being a pedo, being called disgusting and disturbed.

It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary

I decided to visit Saudi Arabia with my girlfriend.

She and I learned they celebrate Pride month by throwing stones.

My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with pasta. – I’m doing well, but I do get cannelloni.

At the resturant, the waitress starts flirting with me. “She must have COVID,” my wife said. “Why?” I asked. “Cuz she clearly has no taste.” She responded.

A man boards a plane with six children of various ages.

After the plane takes off, a woman sitting sitting behind the man asks him, “are all of them yours?”

“No,” the man responds. “I work for a condom company and these are some of the customer complaints.”

Flippity floppity women are property

My girlfriend called me a pedophile but what does she know, She’s 7

Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff?

Tequila

I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

My kids are so ungrateful. I got them a new dishwasher and they just won’t stop complaining about their mom

Whats the difference between a lightbulb and a preganant woman you can unscrew the lightbulb

Vagina jokes aren’t funny.

Moist of the time.

So i was sitting on the couch with a woman,and i asked her,does this napkin smell like chloroform?

Rmm

One day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy then they heard a sound from the bushes, instead of looking down they both ran.

Two years later they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial they asked him if he has ever been caught he said “No but a couple was walking as soon as i killed a girl i jumped into a bush they didnt know i was there but the man stepped on the dead body but didn’t look down then he and his girlfriend ran.”

What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg? Eileen